Trapped in my body looking out at the world. Everything seems fine nothing is wrong.
Yet I’m screaming and no one can hear me. No one is helping me even though I’m shouting help as loud as I can.
I’m beating my hands against my shell saying let me out I want to go home.
But no one helps.
I sit whilst the world continues sometimes in silence as everyone is gone and still I’m screaming
I look into a mirror to see why I’m not being helped and I see a face. The face is different to how it looked last time I looked. It looks hollow and empty. It looks still.
Inside I’m screaming but outside it appears I’m not.
I pinch myself hoping to wake from this nightmare. It seems to last forever I don’t know why I don’t wake.
I wonder why I scream and I feel a pain. It’s not a pain I can find but its there. It hurts a lot this pain. It spreads and spreads till I don’t know if I feel pain any more or if its so intense I’ve gone numb.
Why won’t anyone hear me scream, when is my rescue coming?
I grow older still screaming still walking as if in a nightmare yet no one hears my call. My shell acts normal, the world functions and my shell never shows my scream, my mouth never opens to the scream and the sound never reaches my ears yet I can hear it.
The only indicator from time to time is the tears that shine through and when I’m alone spill out without me knowing. It’s only when they drop below or I look in a mirror I realised I’m crying. The deep pain comes back and I continue screaming.
I’m now dying and still I continue to scream. My eyes are itchy from tears, my cheeks are raw. My throat is hoarse from the screams and my ears are muted. I no longer wish to be rescued, I no longer expect it. I know I’m drawing near to an end to this pain I don’t know how but I know.
I’m still stuck in my nightmare I’ve still not woken up yet…
….My eyes are wide open.