Forever bed

One choice in death for the families is how you wish to lay the body to rest.

It’s no decision a parent should ever need to make but unfortunately do.

Different parents chose different things according to what they wish and how they feel.

We chose burial. Why I don’t really know it was my first instinct when I was asked and daddy felt the same way. The thought of cremation for me was awful I couldn’t imagine doing that and the pictures in my head were too much.

However neither choice is great. Neither have vast benefits only plenty of negatives.

Cremation you have ashes that you can place in a teddy, in your home or in a grave. You can scatter them, put them at a base of a tree, make them in to jewellery. Unless you bury them you don’t have a place to go and visit. Some parents struggle to scatter the ashes, some separate the ashes something many can’t face doing.

Burial comes with its thoughts though and I’d say now it comes with more negative thoughts that a cremation. I find myself wondering what Elva looks like down there does she look the same as when I left her or 3 weeks on is she in a worse condition.It saddens me to imagine her alone and in the dark not knowing what’s going on. This thought only comes when I visit like she somehow goes back for us to say hi then goes skipping off to the fairies again when we go home.

Many parents wonder if their baby is cold & frightened when the weather is bad. They suffer anxiety wondering if there’s enough blankets with them. If there’s enough company. It’s on your mind constantly.

You feel guilty if you don’t go and visit. Then you feel guilty when you go and have to leave.

I don’t regret our decision. We are lucky we live close ( I can see the tree overlooking Elva from my couch). We don’t plan to move out of the area either and IF we ever did or had to family are still close. Elva will always have someone close by.

For us cremation would mean I could always have her home but I’ll admit I’m clumsy, I have inquisitive messy kids poor Elva I fear would end up on the carpet and to some degree that’s funny but it wouldn’t be. It would be extremely upsetting and heartbreaking. She has her pretty place in a beautiful village surrounded by good people. She is home in our hearts and memories. Where her forever bed is will never change that.

So what you chose isn’t overly important as long as your comfortable with your decision because either way your baby is warm from your love, your baby is never lonely through your memories & they are always always home in your heart.

tracy

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