Christmas has always been a time to celebrate and enjoy. Have fun and spend nice time together. It’s never been about the gifts for us its about the build up, the enjoyment of creating nice gifts and wrapping them then spending time watching films and fun things on telly.

Now christmas is a time to survive to get the best out the day in the gentlest way.

This is MY plan to survive:

  • spend time with my boys and daddy
  • allow myself alone time to cry even if its when I have a shower and get dressed or nip to the loo and have a bawl.
  • this requires me not to overwhelm myself with company to point it gets too hard to put a face on.
  • include Elva even if its just a nice candle on the table we also plan to wrap some gifts for her and from her so even though she can’t open them or give them she’s still part of it all. We will then take her gifts to her grave.
  • lots of cuddles and tears will happen and knowing that is ok is the key
  • allow myself time to feel what I feel and react how I react as long as it doesn’t spoil the day

other things you can do is include your baby in Christmas cards, go light a candle at the local church or at home in rememberance. You could let off balloons, sky lanterns or similar. Taking a moment to remember your baby and talk about them.

Elva has 2 decorations on our tree and she has her own stocking also. She is included in the only way I can possibly do right now. My fear is other family won’t acknowledge her and this saddens me greatly. I know other family haven’t been to her grave only us and that also saddens me but she’s our baby and if they chose to deny her then so be it she will always be special to her mummy, daddy and brothers.

Every night we call out night night Elva she’s in everything we do xx



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