This week I had the chance to take part in a project called Holding Hope run by Mel at Finley’s Footsteps.
This involved activities, guest posts and questions daily to give us focus and goals for the coming year.
Some of the things we explored was how we were feeling and how we could bring our mood around from a bad one or continue a good through our thoughts. We explored the past when we had felt happy, secure, confident to confirm we can feel this way again.
We looked at the steps from our worse mood to our best. Every journey is taken in small steps its about taking every day as it comes and accept progress no matter how small.
We listed positive thoughts of mind and was asked to find an image to associate with some of these states of mind. These were mine. These speak to me and give me some hope that even in my darkest times there is beauty there is hope and that from Elva’s death will come new positive things too.
We were asked about what makes us feel good and maybe indulge in an activity that made us feel better. Or a step towards that. So I chose to wear a dress and make up and took the family out for breakfast.
This also goes into listing what things we did before our loss. Things we enjoyed and one day would like to get back in our life. For me the only thing I don’t do as much is sewing. This isn’t something I want to return to in same way. However I do want some of me back the part that didn’t worry about silly things as much.
What things do we want to leave in 2014 and what had we started that we wish to carry on to 2015. I chose positivity. I’ve a few moments of it and want to continue to strengthen this through 2015. I want to leave so many negative thoughts and people behind.
Another activity was to write things down you want to let go of. This can be jealously or moodiness. I wrote very negative things when I had a bad patch few weeks ago so I chose to burn that. I was ashamed of writing it and hoped no-one would ever find it or read it. I also didn’t feel that way any more and although was god to get out to help me realise I was just angry I was also glad to be rid of it.
We had to think about how we wanted to feel what person we want to be and possibly what steps we can take or have already taken to achieve this.
A fun activity is to create a vision board. Things we want or have that we can set goals to getting. A focus and distraction. Here’s mine:
This is about a lot of my focus being on keeping Elva’s memory alive, doing things to make her death mean something. Also her death gave me the push to do certain things. It’s also about acceptance of my body, my path ahead and the need to keep trying at keeping afloat.
Another activity was to chose a relaxing action and do it, considering how it made you feel or changed how you were feeling. Things like pampering, exercise or something you enjoy like a hobby.
My favourite which will continue through my year is a joy jar. You will have heard of these. It’s about writing positive, fun , enjoyable thing that have happened and writing them down. At the end of the year we will go back over them and see how far we’ve come and how much we have to live for. Through the year it will help teach me to appreciate the small things in life.
The last few things we focussed on was creating a repeatable, memorable positive affirmation. Mine is I will keep trying, I will keep focus and I will get there. I’m sure this will change through the year as I gain more confidence in believing and hoping.
We then had to write negative thoughts down and imaging replying to ourselves in a positive way to counteract it and reassure ourselves.
We needed to think of our top goal, how to get it and that day chose something to works towards this. I chose to set up a raffle for some slippers I made so I’m able to gain extra funds to a camera that I will learn to use and hopefully become a remembrance photographer. My main goal is a rainbow baby but I recognise I need something more than the idea of another child something with grounding and something I can focus on long term.
I would highly recommend doing some of these activities they do really help you see that its ok to be a little low on life but there’s so much more to come back at it and its so much easier to think positive even if it is very hard.