My Little Elva

To my darling Elva,

I have your pictures up in my house but lately I’ve found myself looking at you not knowing who you are, feeling like I’ve not even looked at you for a long long time. Like it was decades since we last met.

I’m so busy looking after your brothers doing what I do and because I can’t see you daily I forget to look.

You have so many faces I don’t remember which I know.

You help me daily though, I feel you all around and I feel the love. You’ve changed me more than you could ever know or hope to know. In your death you have helped many and I hope you will help more.

So many times I wish I never had you but I would never wish you away but most the time I’m grateful you came to us. I’m honoured. I have had my eyes opened to the world. I see where I was focusing on things that didn’t matter not really. I see where I thought I was making the most of things yet I wasn’t and even now there’s room for more.

You have brought us closer together and given us more drive. You encourage us daily to make the most of life and not spend it being angry or bored.

Of course we’re still human and we get upset and angry and bored but we always have the intention to  make it not last, to get over small things and and focus on bigger things. We’ve learnt everything can be solved somehow and if it can’t then that’s what needs to happen.

I miss you so much, I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without you. It still seems like some big joke yet I know I must.

One day we will meet and I will hold you forever. I can’t wait.

Love you Elva, my tiny beauty

xx

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