Recently I’ve seen many mums talking about the reason for their babies death and no I don’t mean the physical or medical reasons but the ‘divine’ reason.

Majority seem to want no reason for it. They get angry if anyone suggests god had a reason for this as they can’t fathom what possible reason could cause a stillbirth.

I however like the thought there is a reason. I don’t believe in a god or some divine being but I do believe in karma and for whatever reason Elva couldn’t stay.

What if her little sibling becomes a great scientist or doctor? they would never have existed if it wasn’t for Elva

What if a descendant  in thousands of years saves millions of lives they may not have been able to exist without Elva

Even the fact that her death has alerted me to fact angel wear is needed. My hospital don’t really get outfits or blankets regularly so just being able to help a few is important. Not many hospitals have nappies for angel babies none that I’ve managed to come across but now my hospital have 20 nappies ready for an angel baby so they don’t have to wear a nappy that is too big or no nappy at all. If that’s the only reason then so be it because it’s still a good reason.

I can’t imagine accepting my baby died because the world is cruel, because she’s too precious. If that’s the case why do we continue to try improve our lives? make ourselves happy? I have the believe the world knows what it is doing and I accept I may never know why but I can’t be one of those mums who thinks she died just cos.

However if you believe there’s no reason that’s ok as long as long as it helps your grief.



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