So 6 months has passed since 13th October 2014 when Elva entered this world at 9.30pm. It is a Monday as I marvel at how she’s been gone 6 months, half a year. She should be 3-4 months old not gone for 6. It was a Monday she came so the memory dates match to the days this time 6 months ago on a Monday I was in labour 3 months too soon.
From the start of my pregnancy I was technically pregnant for 6 months and 3 weeks due to her size I was only classed as 27+3 weeks. Which means she was in longer than she’s been out for now. I’m not sure how I feel about that date when she has been gone longer than we had her.
I ask myself daily why. Why couldn’t we watch her grow, why did she die, why us, why do they get their baby and we don’t. What did I do wrong, why did I deserve this. How can I fix this.
I can’t simply. I live with it.