Indignity: The Story of Loss 1

This week I’ve been ill. Very ill in fact. On Monday I had to have surgery for an ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured my left tube. This is my story of that because I never realised myself how awful having an emergency ectopic was and I think people should know.

On Saturday 19th September I had hip pain which I assumed was a period symptom. We had been trying for a baby but once more I assumed we had no success. The only weird part was nothing was easing the pain and if anything was very gradually getting worse. I hoped I wasn’t going to have a horrible period.

Sunday we went out for a bike ride and I struggled to get home but felt fine. Once kids were in bed I settled on the couch trying to get comfy not wanting to take anything ‘just in case’. Around 8 I went to the loo in pain and ended up doubled on the floor as the pain was suddenly increasing.

I went downstairs again only to start crying as I started with what I can only describe as labour pain. We both wondered if I was having a miscarriage but due to the fact I had no spotting and I didn’t feel pregnant plus I wasn’t due on for a week it seemed too severe to be a very early miscarriage.

I got into the bath in hope to relieve it and succumbed to pain relief. This didn’t work though and my pain increased rapidly. All across my pelvis, belly and up towards my stomach.

My partner went off in search of stronger relief and found codeine which was taken and slowly made me more sleepy but the pain didn’t improve. I decided I needed the loo hoping that would help which it didn’t.  I decided to get into bed where I slept for a short while before I needed the loo again but I started panicking I was light headed, lethargic and sweating a lot.

At this point the floor was the perfect place to rest and rest I did on the cold bathroom floor. I awoke to pain in my shoulders and ribs which was making it difficult to move. My stomach pain had stopped and assumed I was hurting because I had been on the hard floor.

My partner helped me get up so I gripped the bathroom door to stand and next second I was in the hallway which freaked me out and I fast crawled to bed. He said I had collapsed.

Getting into bed I slept on and off till the morning where I woke not being able to breath without pain in my ribs. My shoulders were still hurting but no belly or hip pain.

I rung the doctors for a home visit as moving was extremely difficult. I had an agonizing bath and got dressed as best I could before sleeping on and off again. Around 11am I started with very painful spasms in my diaphragm. These would leave me screaming out loud.

The doctor came around 1.30pm saying he didn’t know what was wrong so was ringing an ambulance to get me and perform some tests. We waited 5.5 hours and no ambulance came. My pain at this point had gone from my ribs and was going lower again but was 100 times better and I started to think I was probably ok but afraid of the pain I might get again we said we’d still go to get checked.

In the end we got a taxi to a&e I realised I felt very bloated at this point and wasn’t very hungry as made me feel nauseous.

We were seen by the nurse who took blood and urine for testing. They said they needed to check for pregnancy as standard. After 10 minutes I was called back to be congratulated that I was pregnant. After 11 month finally we had a rainbow on the way. But due to the pain I had I just wanted to cry because I knew this couldn’t work out.

They said a doctor would examine me and then I’d be taken to epu.

Read on for part 2.



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