I’ve talked a few times about getting it wrong and right when speaking to babyloss families and showing your support.
Well here’s my short guide to how to get it wrong.
Don’t say anything at all. That’s how.
I personally would rather you say the wrong thing in good faith than nothing at all.
I’d rather you say at least you have your boys than stay silent because then I can educate you on why one child doesn’t replace another and instead suggest you’re glad I have my boys to help support me through.
I’d rather you say her name and fear upsetting me than act like she doesn’t exist.
I’d rather you say sorry a millions time than act like nothing happened.
I’d rather ask me questions so I can educate you on what happens how its relatively normal process having a stillborn baby how it’s not overly different to a live baby except the obvious.
I’d rather you celebrate I had a baby and upset me than never say a word
and I would rather you tell ME to MY face you are thinking of me, you are there for me than tell someone else to tell me.
I would also rather you text or call me than tell someone else I can call or text when I want because you know what I never will not because I don’t want to but because I think you don’t really want me to.
So say it even if it’s wrong it’s better than nothing .